Lessons for my son.

I'm well into my fifty book challenge and I am now becoming accutely aware that I must not become completely absorbed in such an anti-social activity. I find myself wanting to pull out of social occasions with no excuse other than wanting to curl up on the sofa, block out the outside world, and read. I also have an uncanny knack for choosing depressing novels, like 'Family Matters' by Rohinton Mistry, whose ability to weave intricate story lines for even the sub-characters is completely intoxicating - and mind numbing with the sad choices his characters invariably make. Due to a slightly obsessive personality, I have to take care that I instill a sense of balance within myself, or before long, I'll find that I'm reading at a pace of ten books a month (I've read seven since February 1st) - and at what expense.

With that said, I've been thinking about the power of words, and brilliant websites dedicated to publishing them like this and this and what I would tell Maxime, if he could understand, about what I hope for his life.

I would loosely tell him this.

1. You're loved - first and foremost. With that love, you need to learn to be generous and kind.

2. Share your ideas, and view the world with open eyes. Don't become a slave to religion, indoctrinated people, or words without substance. Think with both your mind and your heart.

3. Never be jealous. Realise, that success is happiness shared - and that jealousy is as obvious as two people in love. It stains the soul.

4. Work out how somebody wants to be loved, and love them that way. Don't waste kind words on somebody who would rather practical favours. But at the same time, know that the way you love is valuable, and if it is too hard, it's not a symbiotic relationship.

5. Read and educate yourself. Don't be opinionated without cause, but be firm in the opinions you rightfully hold.

6. Be wise enough to accept you are not always right, and confident enough to know that sometimes you don't have to be.

7. Listen with all of your senses to the people you love.

8. When you say sorry, mean it.

9. Watch film and theatre, go to art galleries and openings. Immerse yourself in culture, for it is these things, you will learn to fall back on time and time again in conversation.

10. You can only control, what you can control. And sometimes it's best to not be in control at all.

11. Get up early, and learn the value of hard work. Stay up late, and learn the importance of having fun.

12. You don't need a million friends, but you do need a few. Value your friendships and tolerate the flaws that make all of us bad friends from time to time.

13. Don't wait for happiness - you are happy.

To conclude, my beautiful brother wrote Maxime a letter when he was born, and this is one of the nicest pieces of advice I have ever read:

" Dear Maxime... you can either move or sleep in this world. Both are enjoyable but friends are less impressed by stories of your dreams. "